Fairhaven: The City of Fun
by StopJustStop
Summary: Based off of the world of Need For Speed: Most Wanted 2012. Eeyore finds something peculiar about his car. How long will it be until every member of Fairhaven's Most Wanted discovers something similar? All Winnie the Pooh characters are human versions.
1. Realization

**Fairhaven: The City of Fun**

It was 5:30 AM. The Lamborghini Aventador's headlights were just about the only thing illuminating the quiet, backcountry road as it was going 226 kilometers per hour, tearing its way all through the land like King Kong if he were let loose in New York. Eeyore looked around, seeing if he could hit any cool spots, when suddenly, he saw a large ramp. He maneuvered his car so he could take the jump perfectly. The car climbed up a large hill, only to find a lone ramp at the top, and a billboard that said "Crytek" on it.

"Wait, Crytek? I didn't know they had billboards in Fairhaven. They must be very rare. There's no way I'm passing this up." Eeyore said. The car was at top speed, with a perfect angle facing the ramp. As the sun rose, the car jumped off of the ramp, and it was the most exhilarating experience Eeyore had felt in his life. He smashed through the billboard, and the Lamborghini caught some amazing air, so big that he wasn't even close to where he entered the spot once he landed. As the car landed, the force of gravity pushing downward made Eeyore glad he was wearing a seatbelt. He was near the city. The sun, at this point, was peaking through the trees.

Eeyore decided to drive around the city some more, to see if he could find any more spots to hit. But suddenly, he realized his ever-growing erection. He was so horny. He had no way of satiating his lust, so he was just ignoring it all this time. But now, his cock was too hard, and his brain was too focused on sex. Eeyore was sweating; he could hardly take the anticipation! His dick had so much pent-up lust that it was shaking, just waiting to release its full power on something. He looked for a suitable hole in the car, but alas, he couldn't find one. He pushed the buttons on the car, but none of them seemed to find a solution. Eeyore just about gave up, until he saw one more button. He pushed it, and something came down. Its shape was similar to a human vagina. It was lubricated on the inside. The size could be adjusted to fit any penis.

"Woah. I've never seen this feature advertised." said Eeyore. Eeyore ignored the oddness of the situation, took his penis out, and started to fuck the Lamborghini. Eeyore was still driving, but he could hardly control his car because of the immense pleasure that the car gave him. He was glad that there wasn't many people on the road at this hour, or else he would certainly crash. He could adjust any part of the car's pussy, like the texture on the inside, the tightness, the thrusts, and the shape. When he was fucking the car, the Band of Skulls song "You're Not Pretty But You Got it Going On" came on the radio. Eeyore chuckled at the song's relevance to the situation, except he thought his Lamborghini was a pretty car. As he adjusted the pussy to the perfect feeling, the car started to thrust harder, and Eeyore was close to orgasm. He almost didn't want to orgasm, as that would mean his pleasure would end soon after. But he knew that all good things must come to an end.

As he was in the central park of Fairhaven, Eeyore was at his vinegar strokes. The car thrust a few more times, and Eeyore let out the loudest moan he had ever let out. He had never had an orgasm so powerful before. His penis ejaculated semen with so much force that the cumshot was not unlike a pressure washer. Eeyore had never had an orgasm so powerful before. Eeyore stopped his car in the city.

"I think... I think that I liked fucking my Lamborghini more than I liked fucking an actual woman!" said Eeyore. "That was amazing. No actual vagina could ever satisfy me as much as that just did." The car's pussy then dispensed a rag for Eeyore to wipe his dick with. As Eeyore thought about what just happened, he felt slightly ashamed about it. The more he thought about it, the weirder he felt about it. "I had sex with my car." said Eeyore. He repeated this two more times, realizing what he'd just done. He just couldn't get over that fact. Another car stopped right beside him, a Bugatti Veyron Vitessi. The tinted windows, combined with the sun's reflection, was too much for Eeyore to identify who was inside, luckily, the driver stepped out. It was Tigger. Eeyore got out of the car. He needed a conversation to take his mind off of the Lamborghini sex session that just happened.

"Um... H- hi, T- T- T- Tigger..." said Eeyore, who was stuttering because he was still feeling a bit odd about what he just did.

"Oh, hi Eeyo- uhh..." Tigger looked down, and made an odd face. Eeyore could tell that he was put off by something. "Wait, what's wrong?"

"Umm..." Tigger couldn't find the right words to say, so he just pointed down at Eeyore's crotch. Eeyore looked down. "Oh shit!" Eeyore's fly was open, and his dick was hanging out! Eeyore was so embarrassed. He quickly put his dick back. "I can explain!" shouted Eeyore.

"I'm all-ears." said Tigger.

"...I fucked my car."

"Wait, what?"

"I SAID I FUCKED MY CAR!" yelled Eeyore, shamefully.

"Okay, okay!" said Tigger. "I'm just wondering... how did you manage to fuck your car?"

"...Does your car have a pussy?" asked Eeyore.

"Wait, what?" said Tigger a second time.

"A pussy. You press a button, and a vagina-like structure comes out and you put your dick inside it. You can adjust it for maximum pleasure and fuck it." Suddenly, Eeyore had overcome all shame that plagued him after the act, and was able to talk about his car's pussy.

"No, I don't think my car has that." said Tigger, still with the same puzzled expression on his face.

"It was a hidden feature in my car." said Eeyore. "It might be the same for yours. If a Lamborghini has one, then I can't see why a Bugatti wouldn't."

Tigger then remembered all the nights he went without a fulfilled libido. Fairhaven girls were in no way easy. "You know, I might look for that. Thanks." Tigger got back in his car and drove off.

"That was really awkward at first." said Eeyore, as he got back into his car. "But now, I suddenly don't feel so bad about fucking my car." He then decided that he would definitely do it again once his refractory period ends. He noticed that the car automatically cleans semen stains after you fuck it. He noted this cool feature and drove off to the rest of Fairhaven.


	2. The Craze Spreads

**Chapter 2**

It was night in Fairhaven. The city lights gave the streets an all-too-familiar glow. No matter how many times Tigger has been around, in, and above Fairhaven, he never got tired of it. Tigger had then discovered a place that he had never seen, even though he was certain that he had seen every nook and cranny of the place. He then went inside. It was an industrial-looking place, and it did look quite odd and out of place, especially because he was near the beach. But as he entered the place, he noticed how horny he was getting. He was horrifyingly aroused. He then remembered that morning, when Eeyore told Tigger about his car's pussy.

Tigger frantically searched for the car pussy button. He then saw a little flap right in between the air conditioning units. Tigger opened the flap, which revealed a button, surrounded by smaller buttons. He pressed it, and suddenly the Bugatti exposed its pussy. Tigger stopped so that he could take out his dick and insert it in the Bugatti more easily. He then used the buttons surrounding the pussy button, which adjusted the car's pussy perfectly. He then turned it on, and the car's pussy started to jerk Tigger's dick. He decreased the speed a little bit so that he would last longer. As Tigger was fucking his Bugatti, he turned the radio on and explored the building.

He found that the building had multiple floors. As he progressed up the floors, Tigger's sex session started to get more and more intense. He was surprised by his own ability to keep his car in control while he was fucking it so hard. As he got to the rooftops, he noticed a remote control. He never knew the use for it, but then he tried to use it on the Bugatti's pussy. It worked, and Tigger was able to adjust the car's pussy without reaching towards the A/C unit. He had to take it slower, because he didn't want to cum before jumping off the ramp ahead of him. He wanted a photo finish. As the Zedd remix of Skrillex's "Breakn a Sweat" came on the radio, Tigger backed up his car, and he sped up towards the ramp. As he was getting closer to orgasm, he started to sing along to the music.

"I'm breakin' a sweat!"

"It's alright."

"I'm breakin' a sweat!"

"It's alright"

"I'm breakin' a sweat! Breakin' a sweat! Breakin' a sweat!"

"Woo, that's good."

As the song dropped, Tigger came. He was in midair when he came, just as he had hoped. His orgasm was so intense, he was flailing his limbs around because he almost couldn't handle it. Cum was spraying all over the roof and dashboard as he flew over a significant part of the area.

He stopped the car so that he could pull himself together after the immense orgasm he'd had. As he stopped the car, another car stopped by him on the street. The driver of that car noticed Tigger's boot resting upon the steering wheel, twitching slightly. Tigger looked to the side, and realized that he didn't want anyone to see him like this. So he cleaned off his dick and put it away. The driver got out of the car. It was Piglet, who seemed to be curious on what the hell was going on in the Bugatti. Tigger got out.

"Oh, hi Piglet."

"Hi Tigger... wait, why is your hair all messed up?"

"Umm..." Tigger had to think fast about what he was going to say. He could say that he didn't bother fixing his hair after getting out of bed, but he knew that once you joined the Most Wanted, you never feel tired, and you never experience the side effects of sleep deprivation again, so there was no way that would work. He also was afraid that Piglet would smell the cum inside the car. Then he remembered how Eeyore came clean to him about what he was doing, and Tigger figured that he might as well do that.

"Oh, I just had amazing sex with my car."

Piglet, upon hearing this, had opened his eyes very wide.

"Wait..."

"Yes, it sounds weird, but I fucked my car, and it felt-"

"No, no. I'm not creeped out that you fucked your car. I'm just a bit speechless... I was fucking my car recently too."

"Ah, okay. Did you figure it out yourself? I'm asking because Eeyore told me about it after he did it."

"Yeah, I figured it out myself. I was so horny. I needed something. Little did I know that this car right here would give me more pleasure that the best vagina in the world. I was so nervous. I thought no one else did it. I thought I would be seen as some car-fucking creep." said Piglet. "But I guess... I'm not the only one."

"Nope; not at all. You should tell Pooh about it. Lord knows he's in dire need of some pleasure. It's like Eeyore and him switched personalities when they joined the Fairhaven Most Wanted. I blame his sexual frustration."

Piglet agreed. "Yeah, I agree with you about Pooh. I should tell him. Don't know how though." They both got in their respective vehicles and went separate paths.


	3. Tempting Fate

**Chapter 3**

Pooh tore through Fairhaven again. Pooh was sure that he'd explored it all by this point. It was starting to get tiring. "Once I get to the top 10 list of Fairhaven Most Wanted, I can leave this town and go somewhere else. Maybe Paradise City or possibly New San Vanelona." Pooh then opened his windows to let some of the cold city air in. As his windows were open, a paper plane flew in and landed on his lap.

"What's this?" wondered Pooh. He turned the car's lights on and looked at it. It said "From Piglet" on the wings. Pooh opened it.

"Hey Pooh, you should check your car for a hidden button. It might have a pussy button so that you can fuck it. If you succeed, prepare for the ride of your life."

Pooh thought about it, and he thought about how odd it would be to have sex with your car. He did ponder it for quite a while. But then, the song on the radio ended, and what played next was a song that Pooh had never heard before on the radio. The lyrics could not have been more relevant.

It's okay to fuck your car

Even though it seems quite bizarre

But if you go too long unsatisfied

Your boner won't be able to hide

So if your pants are getting tight

And you need something to unleash your might

Stick your dick inside your car

And be true to who you are

The song had convinced Pooh that yes, he should fuck his car. He stopped the car to look for a button, all the while he was getting more and more horny at the thought of making syrupy sweet love to his car. After a while of looking, Pooh pressed a button that just had the letter "F" on it. Pooh thought that this was short for "Fuck." And he was right, because the car's vagina had revealed itself in all of its soft, wet glory. "I think I'll go spice up the mood a bit. Pooh got out of the car, and headed to a nearby convenience store. He got a soda. As he paid for the soda and walked out, the cashier stopped him.

"Sir, please don't steal items from the convenience store." said the cashier. "What are you talking about?" said Pooh. "Don't play dumb with me. You're obviously trying to hide another item in your pants." She pointed at Pooh's huge bulge.

"Actually, that's not an item. That's my penis, dumbass!" Pooh then whipped his cock out to prove he wasn't lying to her and ran out of the convenience store, still with his cock out.

Pooh got back in his car. He opened the bottle of soda. His penis, at this point, was diamond-hard. He couldn't wait to start fucking the automobile that he had raised ever since he joined Fairhaven's Most Wanted. All of the upgrades he made, all of the repairs, the tender loving care, all of that was going to pay off this very night. He pushed the car's fuck button. At this point, Pooh's penis had more blood in it than a Halal slaughterhouse. As he adjusted the car's pussy to the perfect feeling and turned it on, he stepped on the gas and took a big gulp of his soda. Pooh's dick was getting pounded hard by his car. With every swig of his soda, he was getting closer to his climax.

"My god! This feels- hnnnnng- amazing! Oh god! I don't think I'll ever go back to human pussy again!" The car's pussy was easily the best thing Pooh ever felt on his dick. He was fully aware that he was driving on the wrong side of the road. But he figured that no one would be out at this hour anyway. But then just as he was about to cum, a car was approaching on that side of the road. Pooh tried to turn out of its way, but alas, he couldn't do it quickly enough.

Just as he climaxed, Pooh sideswiped the oncoming car, which sent him flying out of control. He was in the air doing flips and spins and smashing into walls. As a result, his cum, and what was left of the soda that he bought, went everywhere. The contents got on Pooh, on the seats, on the radio, on the roof, on the windshield, on the steering wheel, and even on the rear-view mirror. Pooh could hear the car driving over to him. He didn't want that driver to know about his car sex escapade. Luckily, Pooh wasn't badly injured after the crash, so he ran out of the car and jumped into a nearby lake to wash away the combination of shame, embarrassment, jizz, and soda that permeated his entire body. "I'll repair my car later" he thought, hoping that there was a mechanic nearby. Pooh got out of the lake and put his dick away. Just as he ran over to the car, the driver also came to him.

"Oh… Hi, Rabbit! Sorry about that. Is your car alright?" asked Pooh.

"I should ask you that, not the other way around. Yes, my car is just fine. Just a few scratches; no big deal. But your car sure does seem a bit-" Rabbit stopped and smelled Pooh's car. "Umm... Pooh? Why does your car smell like a mixture of soda and jizz?"

"New air freshener." said Pooh without a second thought. "Guess I should've spent a bit more money on a better one."

"Bullshit." Said Rabbit. "I don't see any air freshener in your car. And there's no way the smell would be that potent. Tell me the truth- what the fuck were you doing in there?"

Pooh then remembered the lyrics to that song he'd heard. "It's okay to fuck your car, even though it seems quite bizarre. Stick your dick inside your car, and be true to who you are." Pooh recited these lyrics in his head, and realized that he needed to tell Rabbit the truth.

"The truth? I just had sex with my car."

"The fuck?"

"Yes. I made nasty, kinky love to my car while drinking soda and driving on the opposing lane. Did you ever fuck your car, Rabbit?"

"No! I didn't even know that was possible!" Rabbit then stopped to think about how what it would be like to fuck his car. "...Tell me more."

"Well, there's a secret button that comes on most supercars these days. You press it, and a pussy comes out and you can fuck it." said Pooh. "You should look for one."

"You know, I think I'll do that. Thanks, Pooh." said Rabbit, who then went on his merry way. Pooh then got back in his car after it cleaned itself and went to a mechanic to fix it.


	4. Exploration

**Chapter 4**

(A/N: Hi everyone! This chapter contains references to my fanfic called "Dangerous Peaks." I recommend reading that fanfic before this chapter if you haven't read it already!)

"Oh, Pooh." said Rabbit to himself as he tore through the Fairhaven industrial district at 200 miles per hour, recalling the events last night. "You're so funny. You always get yourself into these predicaments. I mean, fucking hell. Having sex with your car and crashing into me, spilling soda and jizz everywhere? Who would have done THAT? Certainly no one but you, ya clumsy ol' bastard you." Rabbit effortlessly drifted along a tight hairpin turn in the road, recalling Pooh and his hilarious antics. "But everyone has flaws. Some flaws are just funnier than others." Rabbit laughed aloud, until he realized the seriousness of the previous situation. "...I'm glad that a mechanic was nearby, or else Pooh's car would not have made it. Also, the scratches on my car would've made my OCD act up." Rabbit turned on the radio to take his mind off of the incident.

"Hello! This is Marissa Mince of Fairhaven News Radio. Now here's some odd and slightly frightening news for you: Multiple members of the world-famous snowboarding team known as "SSX" had been seen undergoing counseling after their recent race with another team, "SBK," had left them traumatized because they had been raped, not by members of the opposing team, but by disembodied dildos with wings! The story has circulated across the internet, with the news spreading across several mediums, such as Youtube, Reddit, and Facebook. Individual members of Team SBK have been interviewed numerous times, and they had said that they are horrified at what had happened, and that they're personally helping the victims by setting up a donation fund, and by supporting them in private. They also said that they plan on re-challenging SSX in the future if everything ever gets sorted out. One of the victims, Zoe, had confirmed that the proceeds from the donation are paying for their therapy sessions. Team SBK refused to answer other questions, stating that they didn't want to infringe on the privacy of the victims. Moby confirmed that the operations of Team SSX will be on an indefinite hiatus."

At first, Rabbit was horrified at the news. He couldn't believe it. He loved to watch professional snowboarding. When he heard that SSX had succeeded at being the first in tackling the Nine Deadly Descents, he was overjoyed. But now, this. "Man, it's really fucked up how anything can happen in life." said Rabbit. But then, as he thought about the story more, his feelings of sadness had come to a stop. They ended up getting replaced with... other feelings. He thought more about the ways Team SSX could have been raped, and he ended up having much different feelings. He felt... aroused. Rabbit had then started to fantasize about the members of Team SSX getting raped. He always thought Alex was the sexiest one of the group. Rabbit wished he was the flying dildo that raped her. As his fantasy got more and more graphic, his dick got harder and harder. But then, Rabbit came to a sudden realization.

"Oh god... What the fuck is wrong with me?" said Rabbit, frightened by his new-found fetish. "I can't believe I'm turned on by the story of an actual rape victim." But despite his protests, the bulge in his pants just kept increasing. "It feels so wrong... but... it feels so right! Oh god I can barely take it! I need to relieve my sexual urges! Rabbit turned off the radio. "What can I do?" He thought about Pooh and his car-fucking adventures. "No... I can't. I don't want to. I'm not that kinda guy. I'm not some loser who fucks his car because he can't get some real pussy." But then he thought about his car. The car was a supercar, capable of so many things. He thought about how he's currently driving a car that costs more money than a medium-sized house. He thought about the car's smooth, sleek curves, its sexy color, the strong, capable engine...

"My god." Rabbit said. "Why should I feel shame? Why should I feel bad for wanting to make love to such a beautiful, luxurious, high-class car such as this? Why should I? Now where's that button..." Rabbit looked for the car's vagina button, trying to keep his fast, aroused heartbeat steady. He pulled over so that he could find the button without fear of a collision. After about a minute of looking, he found it. It was a secret button, hidden in the glove compartment. He pressed it, and the car went and exposed its beautiful vagina.

"I think I'm about to have the time of my life." said Rabbit, looking at the vagina. He set his erection free, and plunged it straight into the depths of the car's vagina. He stepped on the gas, and off he went, quickly gaining speed. He had returned to his rape fantasy. "As long as I don't act out on it, I don't see the problem." As he thought about it, he made his car's vagina do all sorts of things. It started to vibrate, move faster, and even go a bit tighter. There was even a feature where it would thrust to the beat of the music on the radio. He knew it wouldn't be long until he reached his climax. As he drifted along the outer region of the city, overlooking the beautiful sea, he came inside of his car's vagina. Rabbit screamed in pleasure as semen flowed freely from his penis for what felt like hours. Luckily he didn't make as much of a mess as Pooh made. Rabbit stopped the car.

Rabbit was breathing heavily, in a state of disbelief. "That was the best fuck I've ever had." he said, with the corners of his mouth turned into a smile. As he laid in his car, exhausted of pleasure, he got a call. He answered it:

"Hey Rabbit. This is Pooh. I was talking with Piglet, Tigger, and Eeyore. I think I have an idea, and they all seem to be on-board with it. We're in the central area of the city. You should get over here, because I think this'll be fun. I'll tell you the directions." After telling Rabbit the directions, Pooh hung up. Rabbit pulled his formerly pleasure-overridden self together and made his way toward where Pooh wanted him to go.


End file.
